Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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