Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
