Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
