you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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