just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We got so high we made milksteak
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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