love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
