Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
