i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
