I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
