white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I want a musical about memes.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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