All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
