i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
