i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
