walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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