70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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