that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
