ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
