Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
