Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
