i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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