So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
