Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
