did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
