i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
