wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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