apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
