Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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