so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
