I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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