It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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