mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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