Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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