I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
