as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
