Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
