I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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