We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
