You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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