New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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