toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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