i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
