Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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