This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
