My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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