Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
