I'm eating all of the evidence.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
