if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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