PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
