so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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