This is not my ceiling
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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