is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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