I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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