Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I love having hate sex.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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