new low.... made out with someone while peeing
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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