just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
