i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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