some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
