Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
